What do arses, Osama Bin Laden and prostate exams all have in common?

Hello fellow batshitcrazylaydeez. This post is for you. You know who you are.

Some of you know my day job is training people. Actually I prefer the term evil influencer facilitator. Training implies teaching and teaching implies knowledge and as discussed previously, I don’t do knowledge.

What I am good at is guiding*, and flying by the seat of my pants. I love that I can start a workshop knowing we’ll get to the destination but having NO IDEA what might happen on the journey there.

That’s what got me into training teaching guiding leading people astray facilitating in the first place.

The workshop journey is a thrill ride, a roller coaster, an adventure.

OK, sometimes it’s just a quick jaunt on a very slow merry go round, with horses so small nobody’s feet ever leave the ground. Those workshops are hideous torturous thankfully rare.

When I started the workshop today, I was a bit worried. Almost immediately it became apparent that most of the learners were “Investigator/Analytic” and/or “Orchestrator/Driver” types. These are the people who communicate in facts, figures, proof, knowledge. Left-brainers.

I’m a batshitcrazy person right-brainer through-and-through.


These types of communicators don’t respond to emotion, or intuition. My stocks in trade.

The universe had sent me a headache challenge. I know I was going to have to work extra hard to get them to step onto the roller-coaster.

So I did.

I dug deep and channelled my batshitcrazy – well – like crazy.

I joked. I flapped my hands. I talked about some of the dumb things I’ve done. I took risks – I rode that roller coaster right up to the very top of the highest crest.


I looked around, and every single one of those left-brainy-types was in that front roller coaster car with me. So we all hung on for dear life and plunged onwards.

I took them where I GUARANTEE none of them ever wanted needed expected to go. To Batshitcrazyville.

In fact, I took them just to the outskirts of Batshitcrazyville. Then THEY took the wheel and drove ME at break-neck speed down the main street.

Someone drew Osama Bin Laden.

Someone talked about arse.

Someone talked about prostate exams.

And for a change none of those someones was me!

And then we all sniffed pens.

What do you expect when you embark on a training journey?

* Footnote: When I was first setting up my business, I wanted a fancy shmancy Latin name for it. I decided on the Latin word for “guide”. I ran it through an internet translator and discovered that the Latin word for “guide” is “Rectum”. I squirted coffee out my nose. At work. Yay me.

I doubt Rectum Consulting will ever see the light of day. Ahem.

PS: This is where I’m staying tonight. This is one of the nastier places my training journey has taken me. If a picture paints a thousand words, 997 of these are “shit” and the other 3 are “Oh the humanity”!


  1. How wonderful! Imagine what they went home and told their significant others they had been doing at work today!! This is exactly what teaching is supposed to be about – leading your people to where they need to go, preferably at their own paceand along their own path!
    Well done.

  2. I glad you left the pen sniffing to the end 🙂 Great story.

  3. I luv pen sniffing and it sounds parrallei to a day in the life in a room with secondary students. Expect the unexpected as nothing ever goes to plan. I chortled thru this.

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