 Honestly Orificer I had no idea someone had spiked my cicada with crack. Image by Mike Belleme |
Me: “Tarsiers are SO CUTE.”
Brain: “They look like they’re on speed. Or crack. Or like someone is shoving something unpleasant up a delicate orifice that only the most intimate and trusted of Tarsier partners would normally see.”
Me: “They do look a bit surprised.”
Brain: “I’m not surprised they look surprised. You’d be surprised too.”
Me: “Tarsiers are gorgeous little carnivorous primates. They eat insects mainly but also birds, snakes etc. They’re nocturnal.”
Brain: “If I looked like a mouse on PCP who had just received an unexpected anal incumberance I’d only come out in public at night too.”
Me: sigh
Brain: “What?”
Me: “I’m trying to educate us here and all you can do is bring it down to… arse jokes.”
Brain: “Yes.”
Me: “Why? Why do you have to do that?”
Brain: “Because that’s why you keep me around. And also because: arse.”
Me: “Actually I keep you around because it’d be inconvenient if you weren’t here. What with all that keeping me alive, making sure I breathe and don’t die stuff. And that was an utterly crap answer.”
Brain: “My job here is done.”
Me: “Did you know that each of the Tarsier’s eyes are as big as its brain? What would you do if it was the same for us?”
Brain: “I’d tell you to stay indoors during the day like the Tarsier does.”
Me: “Oh, ARSEBISCUITS!”
Brain: “Arsebiscuits the unexpectedly rear-ended Tarsier on drugs. Nice.”
Me: Slams head down on desk.
Brain: “Ouch.”
 ERMAHGERD! A tiny carnivorous primate! Image from here. |
Do you and your brain get along?
P.S. If you want to learn about Tarsiers, go here for some more serious information…
OK – I’m a little freaked out here. Perhaps I should have a glass of wine and re-read. Nice use of the term “arsebiscuits”. I’ve never heard that one before.
They do look a bit freaky! xxxx
No.
Particularly not at the moment… cos Sally left her head cold behind… and it’s a chesty cough for me… and a not quite so chesty cough for Dave… and I’m in the middle of trying to work out the technical solution to a customer project that’s turned out to be way more complicated than I thought… and Dave wants a solution!!!
So….
NO!
xxxx
My brain and I get along about as good as I do with Google. It’s a questionable relationship.
hehe! xxx
bahaha! arsebiscuits – love it!!
Thanks for dropping by 😉 x
ARSEBISCUITS!
I am totally using that now.
Feel free! I can’t remember who I stole that from LOL
xx
I am also nicking arsebiscuits. A friend referred to my cyber stalker as a fucknuckle the other day, I liked that too. At first I thought you were talking to someone named Brian. It made a whole lot more sense when I read it properly, and was much funnier too 😀 Note to self, skim reading is not always appropriate… Thank you for this strangely amusing and entertaining piece. And no, we do not, get along that is, my brain and I 🙂
Oh I think I just remembered who I stole arsebiscuits from – Mrs Ceee Ceee from http://www.presentimperfection.com
Oh yes fuckknuckle is a great one too. A personal favourite.
Yes me and my Brian often have little chats LOL
x
I’m in love with the term “anal incumbrance” Poetry, sheer poetry.
Consider it yours 😉 x
LOL. After reading that, I feel like I am the one smoking crack. What the heck just happened?
Welcome to my world 😉
CLASSIC, I wish I was as funny as you and your brain! Miss your hilarious input and I hope you are well lovely!
Naww thanks chick. All is well. I’m sure my funny will come back after my holiday! xxx
My brain has been ignoring me for quite a while now. Fortunately my wife has filled in nicely for it. It’s wonderful not having to think
Love your turn of phrase
Thanks Mark 🙂