A Game of Thrones Giveaway!

PLEASE NOTE THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
HOWEVER YOU’RE WELCOME TO KEEP COMMENTING WITH YOUR PREDICTIONS (you beautiful, crazy freaks)

Hi my darlings. Did you watch the last episode of Game of Thrones Season 4 this week?

ER. MER. GHERD. Happy Fathers Day!

If you haven’t, then back away slowly and only return once you have; spoilers, sweetie.

I’ve read the books, and I had concerns about Season 4, but now I can’t wait to see how they deal with everything in Season 5. Are you a member of the smug I’VE READ THE BOOKS SO I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN club yet? No? Then I have a brilliant competition for you.

The Frog has partnered with Bookworld to give away a box set of all seven of the Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire) books by George R R Martin. You can see the set here – RRP is $99.99 so this is a brilliant chance to get all those dragons, Brothers of the Night’s Watch, wenches, Unsullied, incest, weddings and murders, for free. And murders at weddings. And the occasional murder.

Did I mention there might be some murder?

All you have to do is leave a comment below*, giving me your wildest, craziest, silliest predictions for what we’ll see in Season 5. Entries will be open from publication of this post until Friday 4 July. The Frog (that’s me) will choose the funniest, most outrageous theory and that person will win the books.

Easy.

I already own the books (did I mention the I’VE READ THE BOOKS SO I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN club?) but I do have some of my own Season 5 theories, based on how much the series has diverged from the books already. My theories** are:

  • Arya and the Hound (who miraculously recovers from his injuries) get married. No guesses about who dies at THAT wedding.
  • Ramsay Snow/Bolton marries Theon. It’s about time Westeros got into the marriage equality thing.
  • The Mountain won’t be mount’en anyone in the future (sorry).
  • Sansa will make Robin fly (oh god please yes make that little creep FLY mummy).
  • Fighters will learn to wear fricken helmets.
  • Jon Snow will finally know something***.

So put your thinking caps on, and leave a comment below. Hop to it. Winter is coming.

What are your wildest, craziest, silliest predictions for what we’ll see in Season 5?

* You must be an Australian resident to enter. Multiple entries are OK.

** These are not theories. They are wild conjecture based on my fetid imagination and warped sense of humour.

*** Actually I think that one’s  too unlikely even for my imagination. As if.

Comments

  1. melbournemum1 says:

    Great competition! I’ll have a think about this, but I’m afraid I’ll have to go away and defrag my brain after reading your Theon/Ramsay theory. That’s not marriage equality, that’s just nasty. Kx

  2. What a great competition. I was just saying this morning that I am thinking of getting the books!!

    My predictions would be:

    * Arya falls overboard and almost drowns but it rescued at the last minute by mermaids who bring her back to life. She now has webbed feet and hands though and has to go in water every 2 days to stop herself drying out and turning to dust – not easy when heading for the frozen north!

    * The Mountain is cured by the weird blood transfusion thing, but talks with a really high pitched squeaky voice and for some reason can also breath fire.

    * Jon Snow falls in love with a white walker version of Ygritte and they have lots of little half dead babies together.

    * Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter make a surprise entrance half way through season 5 to help Stannis Baratheon take over Kings Landing

    * Daenerys goes mad after locking up her dragons and sets fire to the city and everyone in it only to rise from the ashes with her now invincible army and take over the world

  3. juzzytribune says:

    It turns out Jon Snow’s mother was a Targaeryan bastard, so he has royal blood so the Red Woman bites him and kills Stannis with the blood. Jon hangs out with Stannis’ widow for 3 minutes and takes the Onion Knight for a drink And they decide to remain celibate forever.
    Arya goes to Braavos, gets all the Faceless Man training, and becomes Hound Mark II, except the Hound has survived and she has to fight him (she wins) but Brienne has realised The Hound is the only man for her and declares her love for AryaHound, which gets all Freaky Friday.
    Crazy Breast Feeding Lady didn’t die, she was caught by Drogon the Baby-Killing Dragon and fights Dany for the love of Faaaaaabio.
    Varys and Tyrion sail to Mereen and Varys hangs out with Grey Worm and share gelding stories. Tyrion realises he’s actually a Replicant and only has six hours to live.
    AryaHound escapes Brienne and meets Stanis’ daughter and they form the Let’s Fuck Up Everyone’s Shit Crew.

    I’ve got hours of this…..

  4. sue knight says:

    Firstly, I will never read the books bc it will take the suspense away from the TV series plus I don’t get pissed off if the series does not follow the book story WIN WIN May I also say I have yet to watch the finale so I reserve my right to change my predictions after viewing t’row
    OK firstly lets deal with the friggin dragons…..the were missing for most of this series bc they were on the set of How To Train Your Dragons and were so naughty that there were technical probs in tearing (?) them away from their human handlers…they are now in Masterclass Training Your Dragon Part 2.
    There will be a plethora of male full frontals next season to address the nude gender imbalance of series 1-4 (soz to hetero males)
    The Hound is sent to obedience school and after weeks of Walkies with the walkers, he returns with a full poodle makeover.
    Arya is given her first Barbie and Ken doll and is just furious she has been deprived of a whole childhood and starts a My Little Pony Collection
    Sansa finally realizes her glass is always half empty and is sent to a Mountain (snicker) retreat for rehab for her alcohol problem.
    A certain little dwarf encounters 7 others of his kind and decide to grow apples
    Bran finally gets a backbone (cheap shot I know)
    The Iron Throne is actually an spellbound portal to the Kingdom of Hamalot where the dead and departed have form a musical involving lots of shrubbery…all its waiting for is a little prick….who will this be…John perchance
    I could do this all night but school reports are callin.
    Oh and that line about I wont read the series doesn’t mean you scrub my eligibility bc I don’t want them….. I WANT
    thank you and roger that

  5. I love GOT but hate the waiting between seasons. I think I will just have to read the books this time.

    My prediction is Ser Pounce will claim the throne, and by default rule Westeros, because no one will dare move him. Septic kitty scratch anyone? Didn’t think so.

  6. Great competition! I’ve been wanting to get the books as I’m a sucker for internet spoilers, so I should just go read the source material!

    – Jon becomes head of the Night’s Watch and his first decree as commander is that black is sooooo last year, so he orders new pink uniforms for everyone, with a matching tiara for himself.
    – Tyrion, having been banished to Essos, realises that as a dwarf he doesn’t stand much of a chance in this new wild land, so buys a large trenchcoat and employs small children whose shoulders he stands on to make himself taller.
    – Bran starts a side business to bring in some extra cash by selling bonsai red leafed, face trees.
    – Sansa consults some witches to give her a set of wings, just in case anyone gets some funny ideas about pushing her out the moon door. She spends the whole next series preening her new feathers instead of actually doing something… so no real change in what to expect from Sansa.
    – The Hound and The Mountain start their own Odd Couple cabaret show in the King’s Landing Comedy Club.
    – Dany falls in love with a tall, dark stranger who always wears a trenchcoat and who insists on making love in the dark.
    – Dany’s missing dragon hole’s himself up in a mountain surrounded by gold and jewels. A bunch of dwarfs seem insistent on kicking him out of ‘their’ mountain.
    – Tywin becomes a cult hero that people will insist is ‘not dead’ despite having left the building.
    – Littlefinger, tired of constantly being ridiculed about his name’s implication, embarks on a quest to prove to Westeros that ‘it’s bigger than it looks!’

  7. Arya finds her sea legs and takes mutiny a step further by murdering (yes, you read that correctly) the entire ship’s crew. Unbelievably she navigates her way to the recently freed city of Meereen where she covertly trains as one of the unsullied. Shit gets real one day when she befriends Drogon, the black dragon (who has become increasingly “over” his mother Ms. Stormborn), as they’re both out snatching a few “stray” sheep, and uses her new “pet”/machine-of-viscous-murder to become a twisted Santa like character who leaves death instead of toys. She flies to Westeros on Drogon’s back and strikes a few of those names off her list, RE: Cersei . . . don’t worry, she takes her time on that particular flaying. Yeah, she thought about leaving gifts but figured the entrails spoke more from the heart.

  8. Right, then (rolls up sleeves)

    * A long-lost Targaeryen heir (yes, another one) turns up in Braavos. He falls madly in love with Arya, and the two of them vow to take the throne from the Lannisters by any means necessary. Sadly for the Targaeryen lad, Arya skewers him with Needle on their wedding night and crowns herself Queen.

    * Danaerys finally discovers that kittens are a lot easier to manage than dragons, and changes her title to ‘Mother of Kittehs’. The people of Mereen are understandably confused by this, but are on the whole grateful that they’ll escape being turned into crispy critters. Drogon, however, is not impressed at all, and launches a campaign against his former mistress to win back her love. His idea of ‘love tokens’, though, is somewhat bloodthirsty – and there’s only so much well-done goat that one woman can eat.

    * Sansa exhibits a rare burst of sensible thinking and has a cover installed on the Moon Door – although not before booting Robin through it, and framing Littlefinger for the murder.

    * Rickon gets sick and tired of always playing second fiddle to his brother, Bran. After throwing an epic tantrum, he declares himself Lord of Winterfell. This lasts for about as long as it takes for Ramsay Bolton’s bow-wielding girlfriend to put an arrow in him. With his dying breath, Rickon curses the entire Bolton family with plagues of boils.

    * NOBODY POPULAR DIES. (Yeah, right.)

  9. Two predictions:
    Alien invasion – we’ve had zombies, witches, wizards, shapeshifters and dragons. Aliens is the only thing left.
    The common people rise up and establish a democracy.
    However whatever happens one thing is certain – John Snow will continue to be fecking hawt.

  10. My prediction is …

    All the boy actors get together to do a Broadway number with high kicking, top hats and tails while the girls perform synchronise swim routines, always smiling in the swamp.

    While this is happening the dragon creature sings “Puff the magic dragon” while the little dwarf guy paints his nails.

    It could happen …

  11. I might be the only person in the world that hasn’t starting watching GOTs but I’ll take a stab. The main character is betrayed by a greedy man who wants nothing but power, sex and won’t stop until he has it, he’s also the only person that wears helmets so will probably live way beyond all the other GOT’ers!!

    • Five Frogs says:

      Oh I love the helmet thing LOL alas though there IS no main character. We were quickly taught that in Season 1 when who we thought was the main character was killed. I’m not placing any bets on who the main character is now, in case they get killed off!

  12. I have no predictions because I can’t remember all their names and I haven’t seen the latest season and I don’t mind spoilers. But to enter the comp I predict there will be more sex scenes. I wouldn’t mind reading the books to know what happens next!

  13. Alesha Martyn says:

    I haven’t read the books yet so my predictions might be a little left field buuuuuut…

    – Bran takes over Hodor’s mind again and gets stuck. Unable to transfer back to his own body he begins his new life as Whoredor, working long nights at Littlefinger’s brothel until he catches the eye of Loras Tyrell

    – The men of the nights watch now officially go by their nickname The Crows wearing outfits not dissimilar to The T-Birds from Grease (with leather jackets and greaser slicked hair)

    – Jon Snow is no closer to learning who his mother is. However in an effort to learn SOME things he takes up tuition with Gilly and Sam and becomes a star student, notably with a high distinction in trigonometry

    – It’s discovered that milliseconds prior to his beheading in season one, Ned Stark (who has the same warg ability as Bran although much more controlled and stronger) takes over Dany’s mind and is in making his (her?) way back to the seven kingdoms slowly with his 3 dragons and Daario and the crew of unsullied

    – Somehow through many absurd actions that my mind cannot comprehend Hot Pie sits on the Iron Throne and rules for an impressive 70 years until he dies of tender old age in bed with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around his c***. He leaves behind his multimillion gold dragon coin company Pie Face and the Iron Throne to his wife Margaery who finally fulfils her dream of being THE queen.

  14. lightersideofparenting says:

    I’ve only just started watching GoT, up to season 1, episode 6. So no predictions from me, but a question: should I be reading the books first or catching up with the tv series?

    • Five Frogs says:

      I would watch the show then read the books. The books are quite different and have WAY more detail. How exciting!

  15. Tyrion Lannister will marry Daenerys Targaryen and they will breed miniature dragons and make a fortune selling Dragon Glass to the Night’s Watch

  16. Tyrion dies and the show loses some of it’s biggest fans!

  17. joe crisafulli says:

    1. In keeping with the sexual ambiguity/downright weirdness of GOT, Jon Snow finds out his mother was a Wildling who also had a daughter called Ygritte…
    2. Tywin Lannister was not actually taking a dump when Tyrion killed him, he was merely ‘depositing yet another noteworthy Lannister contribution into the royal coffers”
    3. The Iron Bank suffers its own GOT-FC meltdown, in turn bankrupting the Seven Kingdoms, sending Westeros into turmoil….oh wait…that’s actually already happening now
    4. The actress playing Brienne of Tarth is replaced with a peroxide Khloe Kardashian in drag
    5. Michael Jackson is revealed as king of the White Walkers (this one’s in very poor taste I know)
    6. Jaime Lannister pawns off his golden hand in order to fund his 1000 dragon-a-day ice habit
    7. It’s revealed Joffrey was actually killed by raw pigeon meat leaving Masterchef judges aghast
    8. Ser Jorah learns to play the guitar after penning a Michael Bolton-esque ballad about unrequited love in order to win back Dany
    9. The Iron Islands are renamed the “Not a Very Nice Place to Live” Islands
    10. Theon Greyjoy joins the Unsullied (too easy I know!)

  18. Jill Walton says:

    Jon Snow & Danaerys get together.

  19. The stars have aligned! Five Frogs, Season Five, and my FIVE theories (haven’t read the books so these will likely be wayy off):

    -Within the 1st 5 minutes of the 1st episode, Tyrion bumps into a recovered Mountain, who kills him by stepping on him
    -Drogon decides that mummy looks yummy, and proceeds to devour the last of the Targaryens
    -Before said devouring, Ser Jorah a.k.a. Ser Friendzone gets to bed Daenerys
    -We watch a “White Wedding” episode; Billy Idol makes a cameo
    -A very drunk Cersei has a tongue slip and mentions that she killed Joffrey. Her youngest son finally decides to go against her orders, and sentences her to death

  20. Andrew Mc says:

    Game of Thrones Season Five sees Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons adding another title to her already burgeoning list – Entrepreneur. Worried about the negativity her black dragon Drogon is causing, Dany tries to turn it into a positive by starting a chain of BBQ eateries. She calls her new food chain McDrogos in memory of her late Dothraki husband Khal Drogo. Whilst the new food chain will help take her people’s minds off the “winged shadow” and fill her coffers to aid in reclaiming the Iron Throne it’s also a great way to dispose of all the little kiddies’ bodies.

    As Stannis Baratheon settles into life in the North, Melisandre convinces him to change the name of Castle Black in memory of his deceased younger brother Renly. Stannis rules that from here on in Castle Black will be known forever more as the United Coloured Castle of Renly Baratheon. Davos isn’t sure about the name change but is loving the look of his new technicolour dreamcoat.

    Brandon Stark is super excited that he will gain the power to fly and wonders how large his wings will be. But he is bummed that without the use of his legs his landing may be a bit of a dog’s breakfast. Also he is starting to realise that being a “Warg” has its ups and downs. Whilst soaring high in the sky in the mind of an eagle is amazing, occupying the mind of his direwolf Summer at bath time, isn’t so great.

    Podrick reports Brienne of Tarth to the Westeros RSPCA for her mistreatment of The Hound. A check of their records has uncovered another complaint, this one relating to the mistreatment of a large brown bear. Brienne is currently under arrest on trafficking in illegal animal products and an investigation is currently underway.

    Rumours of Shae’s death have reached her father, Lord Butters, back in Lorath. With his mind churning, he immediately instructs one of his spies, Mar Jarine, to travel to King’s Landing to confirm or debunk the rumours. Mar Jarine wastes no time spreading himself around King’s Landing.

    Unbeknownst to Tyrion, Varys has purchased passage on a ship which is sailing to a land far, far away. Tyrion, along with other citizens of Kings Landing who have certain “talents”, will be put to work by Varys in his recently acquired diamond mine. Hi-Ho we can’t wait for that.

    After finding her father, Tywin Lannister, dead on the privy, Cersei decides to send him to a taxidermist. She has him prepared, stuffed and mounted on wheels so that he can be rolled around the corridors high above Kings Landing. This way the people will still see the Hand of the King going about his daily business.

    Arya, remembering all the stories her father Eddard told her about the Heroine Jessica Watson and her courageous single-handed conquering of the sea, decides to kill the crew of the Titan’s Daughter and decides to be a solo yachtswoman.

  21. kelly jones says:

    Jon Snow does not die, he leaves the Night watch after their betrayal and travels to Kingslanding where he and Danaerys Targaryan tie the Wolf and Dragons together and overthrow the Lannisters and rule Westeros with a fair but firm rule.

  22. laura powers says:

    Someone wakes up and they realise the whole Game of thrones has been someones crazy dream…

  23. Hi, my debut here…I’m sorry I am so late to this wonderful G oT party. All I can say is there are quite a few I’d like to push through the moon door and if I had my way, Cersei, Ramsay and Baelish would be the first three.

    And I wish Daenerys would wipe that stultifyingly stupid gaze from her beautiful face. Perhaps if she had an affair with that hot eunuch or married her favourite dragon, it might do the trick!

    I love this post, and all the imaginative comments. 🙂

    • Five Frogs says:

      Thanks Lee-Anne! Oh I’d push Ramsay through the moon door too. Good GRIEF he’s appalling!

  24. Disney buys the rights to Game of Thrones.

    Season Five will be an all singing, all dancing animated extravaganza.

    Disney has confirmed the following cast members:

    Tyrion Lannister – Michael “Mike” Wazowski
    Cersei Lannister – The Evil Queen
    Daenerys Targaryen – Princess Aurora
    Arya Stark – Peter Pan
    John Snow – Aladdin
    Varys – Winnie the Pooh
    Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane – Wreck-it Ralph

    Goofy is still in negotiations to play Hodor.

    • Five Frogs says:

      Nooooooooooo don’t give it to Disney!? Argh!
      I’m sure there’s a Frozen link there somewhere. Winter is Coming but the cold never bothered me anyway?

  25. Jessica Maloney says:

    Voldermort comes back from the dead (again) and decides to take our Cersei.

  26. Cersei discovers that she is not the only sibling that Jaime has been stiffing. She’s feeling a little short-changed.

    Tyrion discovers that it was Shoe, Shae’s twin sister, whom he killed in his father’s bed. He now feels like a real heel.

  27. Jon Snow Will Ally Himself With Stannis Baratheon – he has debts to repay!
    Arya and Tyrion will end up with Danyeris in Essos. Combine all their resources and strengths to take over Westeros.

  28. Five Frogs says:

    OK folks the competition is now closed and the winner has been announced here – http://www.fivefrogsblog.com.au/2014/07/winter-is-coming-but-the-cold-never-bothered-me-anyway.html

    Thank you all for entering!

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  1. […] the last couple of weeks, I’ve been running a great competition to give away a box set of Game of Thrones books by George R R Martin, thanks to Bookworld. To win, all you had to do was suggest the […]

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