Conversations with my brain: Tarsiers on crack

Honestly Orificer I had no idea someone had spiked my cicada with crack. Image by Mike Belleme

Me:        “Tarsiers are SO CUTE.”
Brain:     “They look like they’re on speed. Or crack. Or like someone is shoving something unpleasant up a delicate orifice that only the most intimate and trusted of Tarsier partners would normally see.”
Me:        “They do look a bit surprised.”
Brain:     “I’m not surprised they look surprised. You’d be surprised too.”
Me:        “Tarsiers are gorgeous little carnivorous primates. They eat insects mainly but also birds, snakes etc. They’re nocturnal.”
Brain:     “If I looked like a mouse on PCP who had just received an unexpected anal incumberance I’d only come out in public at night too.”
Me:        sigh
Brain:     “What?”
Me:        “I’m trying to educate us here and all you can do is bring it down to… arse jokes.”
Brain:     “Yes.”
Me:        “Why? Why do you have to do that?”
Brain:     “Because that’s why you keep me around. And also because: arse.”
Me:        “Actually I keep you around because it’d be inconvenient if you weren’t here. What with all that keeping me alive, making sure I breathe and don’t die stuff. And that was an utterly crap answer.”
Brain:     “My job here is done.”
Me:        “Did you know that each of the Tarsier’s eyes are as big as its brain? What would you do if it was the same for us?”
Brain:     “I’d tell you to stay indoors during the day like the Tarsier does.”
Me:        “Oh, ARSEBISCUITS!”
Brain:     “Arsebiscuits the unexpectedly rear-ended Tarsier on drugs. Nice.”
Me:        Slams head down on desk.
Brain:     “Ouch.”

ERMAHGERD! A tiny carnivorous primate! Image from here.

Do you and your brain get along?

P.S. If you want to learn about Tarsiers, go here for some more serious information…